| Getting out |
[Oct. 25th, 2008|08:03 am] |
backdated to yesterday morning
(and a backdated thread to come soon too)</i>
(and please PRETEND i managed the apology post- so really its up to you if you've forgiven marissa for being absent for almost year or not. I meant to get the post up, but Denim and Hunters wedding kind of just appeared, and she couldn't miss it. <3)
Made it to Chicago. Can't wait til tomorrow. I'm just really glad Denim still invited me to come. I'm really glad to be here. Around someone who doesn't make me wish I was still locking myself in a room I had to leave Maddie at home, although I wish I could've brought her. I'm not so sure her attention span is ready for a wedding though. I think she would've gotten a kick out of the zoo.
I'm so happy for the two of them.
And very curious to see how Jesse makes out as the maid of honor.
( Marissa's dress ) |
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[Mar. 17th, 2008|06:26 pm] |
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Private
What kind of horrible person am I?
I could rip my hair out.
End Private
Happy St. Patricks Day. |
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[Nov. 19th, 2007|01:35 am] |
So she's a week old. And she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. You always hear how people can't explain how its possible to have so much love for someone who you only just met, and now I understand. She is so perfect, in everyway. Completely flawless.
I didn't think it was possible to be so complete. She fits perfectly here with us.
And soon, I'm going to fit back into my old clothes. And I think tomorrow Jared, Madison and I should all go to the ocean. Jared just doesn't know it yet.
Its weird though. Not being pregnant. Its a weird feeling. and I don't know how i feel about it. |
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| Baby Announcement. |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|03:15 pm] |
Madison Jane Berkeley
Born on November 12th 2007, at 2:24am |
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[Nov. 7th, 2007|10:53 pm] |
There are no more camera's in the house. I've hidden them all. There is not allowed to be any proof that I look this awful. I'm thinking about covering all the mirrors too. But definitely no cameras.
Only a month and two days til the due date!
and then maybe camera's will be allowed again. |
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[Nov. 6th, 2007|01:20 pm] |
I've found a new great way to get rid of the hideous scripts and junk that people send me for my clients.
Having a fireplace in my bedroom has to be the most amazing thing in the world. And it keeps me warm too. |
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[Oct. 23rd, 2007|01:46 am] |
God I need fucking sex!!
I need to watch more movies where more people die. |
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[Oct. 13th, 2007|12:16 am] |
My husband loves me.
He absolutely loves me.
He bought me the 40th Anniversary Platinum Edition of the Jungle Book!
With HOURS of special features!!!
He even came to watch it with me even though I know he hates it. And even though he fell asleep during the opening credits, it was sweet.
Blocked from Jared
I think that things are going back to normal. A little bit anyway.
I can't be angry anymore, at least not at Jared. He's been trying so hard. Now if only that bitch would stop calling.
Its really nice actually, even if he is sleeping. Just him, the dogs and me and my massive stomach. Not to mention my stuffed animal I've grown so attached to.
End block
I love this movie. |
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[Oct. 9th, 2007|12:16 am] |
I think...the entire baby room is finally complete.
and in exactly two months from today- on December 9th- she'll be here.
...and Popsicles are my new favorites I think. |
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[Oct. 6th, 2007|12:09 am] |
I'm getting our phone number changed.
End of discussion. |
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[Oct. 3rd, 2007|01:48 am] |
OOC: Backdated to late Monday- because I suck
I have the most amazing, wonderful husband in the world!
There is everything and anything I could've ever wanted for the babies room and its all perfect!
Absolutely Perfect!
I don't even know where to start theres so much!
I could not be any happier then I am right now at this moment.
Its perfect. |
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[Sep. 27th, 2007|11:48 pm] |
I don't feel well. I haven't felt good in days- and that makes it hard to make the baby room look like a baby room.
And I haven't slept in days because its hard to sleep when your spending all your time on the bathroom floor by the toilet.
I'm going to die here on the cold bathroom floor. |
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[Sep. 12th, 2007|09:30 pm] |
What kind of horrible mother am I going to be? I haven't bought anything. Not one single baby thing. There are clothes, theres furniture, there are books, toys, stuffed animals. I haven't bought anything. I haven't painted the room either. I haven't done anything. I can't even stay in bed like I was told to. I was so hell bent on doing it all myself, and now only four months away and I haven't done a damned fucking thing. What kind of mother am I going to be?
The kind who likes wishlists, thats for sure. I can't even keep track of what websites I've been on. But it doesn't make up for the fact that I am going to be a terrible terrible mother. I'm already a terrible mother.
and only four more months.
And starting now no one is allowed to see me because I am slowly becoming huge and hidious.
Private to Self
I don't know if things are better. He broke open the door, we talked. And now I don't know. I haven't been married even six months and I'm already ruining things aren't I? I should just get over it, toss Taylor's taunting notes, and let it go. Before I let my marriage go.
I don't really know where we stand right now.
I feel like I don't know anything anymore.
At least I'm keeping myself as busy as possible.
End Private to Self
I want crab legs. Crab legs and curly fries. curly fries with french onion dip. |
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[Sep. 11th, 2007|12:12 am] |
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I think I don't feel well. |
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[Sep. 5th, 2007|04:12 am] |
Private
What kind of manager am I? I have no fucking clue whats going on with anyone.
I'm horrible. I can't seem to take care of myself, how can I take care of anyone else? I can't even keep up with whats going on.
I'm going to be a horrible mother too.
Four more months and the room is still empty, with just the basket Jared brought home.
I haven't bought anything. I haven't done anything.
And I'm just pushing Jared further and further away. And I can't seem to stop.
I'm just so fucking angry. Angry at myself, and just hurt...how childish is it that I can't just let it go?
End Private
Someone...Anyone...Anyone at all,
care to fill me in on whats going on? |
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[Sep. 2nd, 2007|02:21 am] |
Jared
Thank you.
I love you.
and I'm sorry. |
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[Sep. 2nd, 2007|12:36 am] |
I finally took my ring off.
My fingers are too swollen. Like the rest of me. I'm hideous
I don't feel very well.
Blocked from Jared
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
No wonder he has to get the fuck away from me. |
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[Aug. 29th, 2007|02:45 am] |
Private
This is going to haunt me til the day I die.
Why can't I just let it go and forget it ever happened?
Even if I could, Taylor Bell fucking won't let me forget it.
I can't make this go away.
I'm so afraid I'm going to say something wrong and he's going to leave again.
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. And I can't even walk according to him, go figure.
I'm just so glad he's home. I don't want him to leave again.
End Private
Fuck her. |
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[Aug. 18th, 2007|06:13 pm] |
I want to leave. Someone come and get me, because I can't drive. But I can not just lie here, or sit in the fucking chair anymore. I need to leave.
Someone please come get me....
Private to self
Why should I stay when he won't come home?
I don't know what to think. I don't know if its true, I didn't jump to conclusions. He couldn't deny it, fine. But he won't come home! Not that he can't... he just WONT. What am I supposed to think? Because its starting to feel like maybe its true, he doesn't care. I don't understand...I just want him to come home. I don't care about anything else. I begged him. And he still won't come home.
So If hes not coming home, why should I stay? Everything reminds me of him, I have no way to forget about whats going on, and I'm sick of lying here, and sick just in general. Doctor says I need to destress for the babies sake, and I can't do that here. Not if Jared won't come home.
Private to self</a> |
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